I don't know what to say when someone tells me they could "never" become vegan
You’re chatting with someone you’ve just met, and it comes up that you’re vegan.
Frustrating, right? As vegans, we can find it difficult to accept when a person sees the value in being vegan but doesn’t seem willing to change their behavior.
Simply stating that it is possible for the person to become vegan is unlikely to be effective and could even be counterproductive.
Here’s a way you could approach the conversation.
Listen and learn
First, if there’s time, you could ask questions so that you better understand the other person’s thinking—why they believe veganism is valuable, and what’s preventing them from acting on this belief. “Have you always been a supporter of veganism, or did you recently come to feel this way?” And “So, why do you feel being vegan isn’t something you could do?”
Avoid All-Or-Nothing Thinking
It can be helpful to recognize that we don’t need to ask people to make an all-or-nothing choice between carnism and veganism. In fact, encouraging a few million people to reduce their consumption of animals is far more impactful than persuading a few thousand to eliminate their consumption entirely.
Encourage others to be as vegan as possible
Let’s say the person you’re speaking with is upset by footage of factory farming they’ve seen but is convinced that they don’t have the willpower to give up cheese. Or perhaps they want to reduce the carbon footprint of their food choices, but they eat dinner with their grandparents once a week and don’t want to offend them by refusing their nonvegan dishes.
Here’s what you could say:
You might be reluctant to encourage someone to be as vegan as possible, rather than asking for “total” veganism. But if a person believes they have to choose between total veganism or total carnism and they’re not ready for total veganism, they’re unlikely to change their food choices. If, on the other hand, they know they can just be as vegan as possible, they can end up sparing countless animals’ lives.
Another reason why it makes sense to ask someone to be as vegan as possible is that this is more respectful and rational than asking them to “go vegan,” because we’re acknowledging that they’re the expert on their own experience. Only they know what’s possible for them—what feels doable and sustainable, given their life situation. And nobody can do more than what’s possible.
Also, when we encourage someone to be as vegan as possible, they’re less likely to feel defensive.
If everyone in the world were as vegan as possible, the world would probably become vegan before long!
Consider other ways of strengthening veganism
Finally, if you’re finding it difficult to get others interested in veganism, it can be helpful to bear in mind that while encouraging people you know and meet to reconsider their food choices is important and valuable, it’s not the only way—or even necessarily the most impactful way—to create change. You might instead choose to focus your energy on asking businesses to offer more plant-based products, for example.